Relationship Matter- Part 3

How do I maintain a good relationship

I will just talk about 5 tips of out many others.

1. Learn to Trust

I have learnt these past years of my life that some people naturally don't trust anyone. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but when it comes to maintaining relationships (any and all forms), this is a necessary ingredient. When you choose to be in a romantic relationship, this means that out of many, you have decided to trust him/her to take care of your heart and emotions.

As I have made mention in my previous posts that trusting someone is like seeing your image in another person’s body so if at all you don't trust anyone, at least you will trust yourself. Trust kills every act of jealousy and make you confident of your relationship.

Doc Simi

2. Value Your Partner

Sometime ago, I battled with this problem in my life. I loved to feel bossy, it was a part of me. The painful truth is, it has its own perks but the downside is also on the high. What I am trying to say is, sometimes you encounter people or precisely a person who loves you so much but then you begin to take advantage of their affection and vulnerability, like being clingy, so you often ride them, snapping at the slightest mistakes they make. It might feel good for a while but nothing lasts forever. Eventually, they will get tired of the unreciprocated love and give up on trying to make you really see them.

Suddenly, they are gone and you begin to miss their presence and begin to wish you knew then what you know now. Life is a cycle! If someone is willing to show how much they care about you, it's probably not for your good looks, because they also have someone who cares a great deal about them but they chose YOU. Don’t ever lose sight of that.

Learn to value your partner and what they have to offer. Love them, respect them. It's the least you can do.

3. Avoid Third-party Influence

I have addressed this issue earlier on so I won't dwell on it. Third-party influence shouldn’t be your go-to for settling every quarrel. Learn to communicate with your partner/friend always, issues or not.

Some people make the excuse that they have a mentor, guardian,religious leader, confidant or someone who they think knows better about certain issues that arise in relationships, that can be true sometimes but you do not take an issue about one person to another without trying to fix it with that person. They say three is a crowd.

4. Learn to be Tolerant

The biggest mistake people make regarding relationships is trying to change a person. Partnerships are all about compromise, your focus should be understanding your partner to know what you can tolerate or accept and also point out the things you would talk to your partner about changing or adjusting. Do not go into a relationship with the mindset that ‘I can change this person’. You saw them and liked them just the way they are so why are you no longer fine with who they are?

People come from different walks of life and have distinct worldviews, so when someone tries to disprove their biases and beliefs, they feel unaccepted by the person who claims to love them, so how much anger do they express when someone who claims to love them does the same.

One thing I so much cherish about relationships is that, no one is forced into it, it is voluntary. Recently, I met a very beautiful decent girl who by all means wants me to date her, no matter what I tell her, she never changes her mind. Now that is the highest she can do, she can never and never force me into a relationship besides, she's not a bad person in fact she's perfect but I  just wasn't interested.

That aside, get my point if for any reason she happens to be a bad person and I am aware but still agreed to date her, that means I am saying "I love you exactly the way you are". Don't ever try to be the teacher aligning one's lifestyle. At least you knew her before you started dating her, you were not forced, so if you want to make any changes in her lifestyle, do it before you ask her out or make it a condition for her to change. There are different ways, just don't Force it!

5. Avoid Early relationship obsession

Do you know what I mean by early relationship obsession?

When two people newly enter into a relationship, there is this over-excitement between themselves so much at the beginning that's why you see them always calling, always seeing each other, everyday, every minute, day and night. They are all early relationship obsessions. Do you know these practices kill a relationship faster? Go and check it, most people who are into this don't last in such a relationship especially this time where social media is the tool of the day. They are all fantasies. You can't start a relationship with such obsession, you have just started, you need to take it easy, take it on a low and it will increase gradually. If you insist on starting with such pace, I can bet it with you, you can't continue like that, just like you don't start a marathon race with full speed. So keep it calm and take it little by little.

The Don'ts to do in a relationship

Don't hype your relationship

People are so fun of broadcasting over and over again their boyfriend or girlfriend. Come on it's not necessary, you are not the first to be in a relationship besides some relationships don't need to be broadcasted before people know it's a relationship.

Don't test your partner

If there is anything I hate the most, it's probably when my girlfriend says she was testing me and I passed, it's an insult to me. It means she never trusted me, if you really want to do tests, do them before you agree to date me. Testing him/her is not a good thing to do because, it might happen to be that the period you tested him, he failed maybe because your test didn't fall to his best time.

Don't be too sensitive

There is no point having unnecessary doubts due to your extreme sensitiveness. All you need to do is to trust and not the FBI attitude. When you are too sensitive, your heart can be set ablaze with very minor situations.

Don't be proud

This seems very common these days, some people have this ego within them that they are always right, they are never at fault. It proves nothing, a wise fellow is one who accepts faults even when the real offender disagrees to accept faults.

Don't be the "I don't care" type

Most "I don't care" people often don't mean that statement, so if you choose to be like this then you can never keep your relationship because, you are indirectly saying you don't want that relationship again. I also noticed some people say this so that they can be begged or pleaded with, it's for their pleasure, for real, do you think I will keep on begging? One day I will also not care!

NOTICE!!!

I am so grateful to all of you that have taken your time to read this and also those that followed the series right from PART-1. I got a lot of comments, thank you!

I will still like to hear from you, read your comments and also listen to your questions and contributions. So feel free to use the comment section on this post or send me a mail at doc.simi4@gmail.com or a call or WhatsApp message by clicking here

Thank you. It doesn't end here, there is more to come.